Met my Chemo doc yesterday, he gave me alot to think about. It is very scarry all of this. I will be on chemo after my next surgery he said for 6 months. That seems like a very long time. That also means that I won't be going to NY in June as planned. Huge disapointment. He said I would definately loose my hair and eyebrows. Uggg! I am so vain and never knew it lol. I asked about my eyelashes and he said no he didn't think so, so we will see I hope he wasn't lying about that. Oh well come what may.

My surgery that was suppose to happen this Friday has been postponed a few days. March 5th is the day now. My lymphnodes are comming out. This scares me more than having the tumor removed because there is a threat of lymphedema and nerve damage. Not to mention it will most likely hurt like a m**f*er (bad language I know BUT...)

Gosh I think I am a bit negative today, I try not to be but somedays it just is. When you have cancer it is almost like your emotions have no control of their own, and some monster takes over and runs you around like a swirling wind in a tunnel.

How much more?

Ok well this is getting old and I am a very impatient person. I want this behind me, forgotten and dismissed.

Bad news on the report from the surgery, have to have more surgery. They saved the boobie for which I am eternally grateful, but now they want the rest of my lymp nodes. It appears to have spread a bit.

So much to think of, more surgery, chemo shortly thereafter and then radiation. I think by then I will be like an atomic bomb lol. So much for travelling out of the country!

I am increasingly tired. I don't care much for this stint in life. I try to keep up with the world, sometimes I surpassed it this is cramping my style. I guess I am angry!

Thought for the day : wondering if they will leagalize pot for me in the near future lol think I will take that to congress along with socialized health care!

Ahhh truly rantings of a mad woman!

One Giant Leap and Surgery in the Fast Lane!

Whew! That was quick, surgery is over and I am on my way to recovery. Talk about drive thru surgery I think my case tops it. I got to the hospital at 10:15am, rushed right into surgery, 2.5hr later in recovery, and home around 5pm. I still couldn't walk when they wheeled me to my car to go home, I don't really remember going home except my hubby carrying me in the house. I presume that is what they do with you when you have no insurance.

Anyway a partial masectomy (lumpectomy) and a snb where they took 6 lymphnodes. I am very pleased with that, my poor little part is just a bit defalted not as bad as I was expecting. just a bit achey. LOL happy days. My underarm well that is a different story. That hurts quite a bit, alot of tingling, stinging pain going on. I could take my oxycottin that was given to me but I can't stand how I feel on it, so I am taking plain ole tylenol and learning to be a bit tougher. Haven't been able to eat much mostly due to the oxy.

I am anxious to get back to my art and computer. I haven't been spending much time on either and oh boy I want to get in my car and drive! Can't do that yet either.

In a few days, I go to the onc doc and will most likely hear the plan that is laid out in front of me. I am not excited about that yet. I would love to hear ok your done, go home, cancer free and live the rest of your life. Holding on to that for a few days. The day after I go get my stitches out, tape off or whatever back to the surgon, and she will probably be done with me. Yippie!

Well ta ta for now.