Waiting for important things in your life are like looking at a 1500 mile stretch of road ahead. Of course things that seem important sometime are not at all but at the time you are thinking of them they are.
Tomorrow I go for pre admit, and on to the Oncologist. I am getting cold feet about the whole damm thing. I don't want the shot for my SNB, I don't want surgery, I DON'T want to do the rads and chemmo, BUT if I want to live this is my chance to prove it. How fair is that?
Yes I am definately feeling sorry for myself. lol tell me you wouldn't.
The other thing that is prying on my mind is that what happens to your friends when the shit hits the fan? I am here to tell ya that what I have is NOT CONTAGIOUS! All but one friend has fallen off the face of the earth. What the hell is that all about?
If I was a whinner I could understand, I simply said I have breast cancer and poof! Bitter yes indeed I am, seems to me I held their hands plently of times even held their hair when they were sick for a few. I don't want anything but how about a I'm sorry, lets go shopping, or lets make some art, or how about lunch or even just watch a great movie and eat ice cream?
Now that that is off my chest, (no pun intended) I can forgive, for they know not what they do to me, but God bless them, I may never understand it.